Since then, the 29-year-old Cranbourne mother has been blighted by an anxiety disorder that has destroyed her social life.

She had always been anxious, and especially had a fear of flying. But her wedding day anxiety escalated so much that by the time she was on her honeymoon, she was out of control.

"I was anxious about everything, too anxious to travel, too anxious about my son left behind. So we cut the honeymoon short and came home.

"Three months later the anxiety started to affect my life and I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. At its peak I couldn't be social, and was too anxious to go out. I stayed at home.

"In this highly anxious state one thinks crazy thoughts.

"When it rains, you become afraid of the rain, how it will affect you."

Then there were the severe physical symptoms: the flight-or-fight adrenalin rush, shaking, rapid breathing and diarrhoea.

Mrs Sanders, a member of a Anxiety Disorders Association of Victoria's anxiety support group in Berwick, says therapy gave her immediate relief.

"As soon as I realised that the anxiety was a state of mind, I was able to control it.

"The mind has a lot of power. You can change your thoughts to realistic thoughts to stop the anxiety attacks."

Psychologist John Jakupi of Berwick Counselling and Psychology says

social anxiety disorder is the most common phobia of all.

He says those who are socially anxious will avoid mixing with people, going to shopping malls, or having any physical contact.

"This is the hallmark of anxiety - to avoid anything unpleasant, including the counselling."

The anxious condition could be inherited through a genetic disposition, he says.

"Sufferers are usually timid in public. It's not unusual [for sufferers] to come from dysfunctional families or with parents who were overprotective and negative."

Mr Jakupi said personality disorders were sometimes more difficult to deal with and very few people got help unless the phobia affected their lives.

"They tend to build their lives around the fear. People are very good at this, making excuses not to face their fear.

"It's tempting to say face your fear. If you can recognise it that would help, but a lot of people self-medicate, usually with alcohol.

"They'd rather go there drunk, so they never get to prove that they cannot face that phobia."

The anxiety support group meets from 7.30-9.30pm every Tuesday at the Berwick Neighbourhood Centre.